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4 Kids...Too Many?

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Monday, October 17, 2011

4 Kids...Too Many?

Yup, I have a problem.  I have friends who are about to pop and I see lots of amazing bellies around me.  No, not really envying how it feels to carry around that bowling ball between your legs, but having some major issues with baby clothes bins, watching my baby grow up and thinking, "Is this it?"

"Is this it?"  What is that supposed to mean?  Am I happy?  Yes.  Is my life crazy?  Ummmm, hell yes.   It is C.R.A.Z.Y. dragging little brothers to ballet and soccer, working, trying to work my way up and over on the teacher pay scale, wondering how/when/if I would ever be able to stay home.

Annie, you're 34 years old with 3 kids, probably never going to be a SAHM...

3 kids.  Blessed.  But what about all the cute girl stuff packed away in boxes on the 3rd floor?  What about a sister for Emily?  I bring it up a lot and Emily says,  "Would you be all set with just one more?"  LOL.  I wonder where she's heard that.

Yup, I'm one of 4.  Girl, boy, boy, girl is how my mom did it.  She has always said I will end up like her with one more.  But how?  What if it's not a sister for Emily?  Of course I love my boys.  But is wanting a sister for Emily enough reason to go for #4?

Nope, I'm not pregnant.  Thank you, Jesus.  But I'm not so sure about this baby thing.  I listen to so many other moms tell me "We are DONE."  They say it with such certainty.  What is wrong with me?

We can't afford college for 4.  What am I, nuts?  Does everyone feel like this after 3?  How do you know when you're DONE?  How do you really know?  Or is it that I'm obsessed with the little tiny things called babies?  They do grow up, I know.  They're not kittens.  That year of baby goes by way too fast.  But don't they keep you young?  That's what my mom always told me.  I kept her young.

Emily is turning 6 next month.  Six years old.

Brothers are cool.  Would I go for #5 if I didn't get Em a sister on the next go?  Is this a disease?

What is wrong with me?  Family vacations?   Restaurant booths?  Stow, party of 6 would be a bit much, right?  But we'd still fit in the Traverse...

Oh, the Lord save us.

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Anonymous Renee Romano-Gilani said...

I'm with ya, girlie!! 4 is crazy, right?!

9:58 PM  
Anonymous Amy Farrell (BostonTwinMommy) said...

I like even numbers... I was one of three and think four is a great idea (says the girls who is *swamped* with only two!) :)

10:01 PM  
Anonymous Jessica said...

I admit I'm glad we're expecting a girl because it means less pressure on whether to have #3 or not. I've been so firm on stopping at 2 lately, but I also happen to be pregnant and chasing a toddler around and working. We'll see if I change my tune in a couple years when I have no babies anymore.

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too have three children, two girls and a boy and am on the fence as to whether or not I want another one. I think my heart will always want another one but then the practical side of me sets in. 4 is a lot in today's world. I am also the youngest of 4 and always said I would have 4 but am now not so sure. Just not sure I am done either. Everyone I know who has four seem to be stretched to the limit and that is intimidating. Also, "bookends" like you are going for are very hard to get statistically. The friends I have who have 4 were actually looking for girl, boy, boy, girl and now have girl and 3 boys. Not that it matters once you hold those little babies in your arms. I never cared on the gender but if I went for a fourth I would like a boy to even it out...but is that a reason? Why care about gender now..does that mean accept what I have since you can't pick. ugh who knows? Good luck!! Every week my opinion changes. :-)

10:03 AM  
Anonymous Diane T said...

I'm right there with you! It's so hard to watch my "last" baby (#3) growing in to a toddler. Practically 4 is not possible for us but it doesn't mean that I don't think about it (more than I should!) and yearn for another little one. Must stop thinking about it, must stop thinking about it!

11:40 AM  
Blogger Annie said...

I'm so glad I'm not alone on this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Anonymous, stretched thin is exactly what scares me. How did our parents do it? And I think you're right about the boys...once you get them, are you likely to keep getting BOY? I need to read up on this. LOL! There were a few days where I thought I was done. But it only lasted a few days...and the older they get, the bigger the demands, right?

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The chances of a boy or a girl are pretty much 50/50 even if you've had a long run of several kids of the same gender.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Annie said...

Thanks for the link on Posh Spice! Love that. Yes, 50/50. It only makes sense.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Nellie said...

hmm four sounds so tempting! I am about to be the mom of 2 boys and I wanna girl BAD :)

7:54 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Well the joke in our house was "remember when we wanted a brother and got Megan instead" I'm one of 4 girls. We are officially done at 3 and I am giving away the baby stuff as soon as it is out grown. I am sad at how fast time flies and how close to being a toddler my youngest is, but I know it's the right decision for us. Part of it is selfish in that I've finally lost the weight I put on after 9 years of marriage and I can't help but look forward to eventually having more time for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want these precious moments with my youngest to go by too fast, but it's those thoughts that reinforce the "we're done" decision.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Annie said...

More time for yourself...SO true. That's what puts me on the other side of the fence some days. Is that what the logical ppl with 2 are also thinking? Probably. It's A LOT of work!

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So agree with everyone's comments. We have 3 but are so on the fence on a 4th but geez 4 kids seem like a lot! Really would love my daughter to have a sister but my husband says that pretty much means we would en up with another boy. That's ok too. Just lve idea of having a big family.

12:53 AM  

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